Some people are blessed with the graceful gift of song or dance. Some are good at solving crossword puzzles. Some delight others with their cooking or baking. Some are able to handle a classroom full of kids with ease. Me? Well, one of my gifts is organization. I've inherited this one from my Mom. She was the master at organizing and multitasking. Whether I like it or not, I've got it. Believe me, sometimes it's a curse.
It's a curse because my brain never shuts off. I'm constantly planning in my head. Thinking about what the next activity is. What needs to be done ahead of time to get dinner ready? What do the kids needs for school tomorrow? It's always best for me to plan trips it last minute because otherwise my brain is consumed with what needs to get done for the trip. I'm constantly looking at the clock planning everything out to the next minute.It's pretty much a sickness sometimes.
When I was little one of my favorite things to do was make up an itinerary for the day (ok, sometimes it's still my favorite thing to do). But it would look something like this:
8:00: Wake up
8:10 - 8:20: Have breakfast
8:20 - 8:30: Get dressed, brush my teeth
8:30 - 9:00: Watch cartoons
9:00 - 10:00: Play Barbie's with Becky
You get the point. I loved planning it all out and most of all, following it to a tee. Most of the times by the time the afternoon came I was off schedule and just forgot about the whole thing anyway.
I've been working lately on trying to turn that part of my brain off. Many times I over plan so much that it takes the fun out of it. When I plan something too much and then it doesn't happen according to my every planned moment, it really throws me for a loop. This happens a lot when we plan family vacations. I put so much thought into making it be perfect that I don't prepare for the mishaps along the way and in turn, quite honestly, freak out about it. Our visit to Disneyland a few weeks ago was a prime example when we tried to get back in the park after an afternoon break and they told us it was closed since it was at capacity. I did not handle that well at all. Thankfully, another of my gifts is not taking no for an answer and we got back in :) But in the meantime, I was not prepared for that turn of events.
I keep legal pad notebook around that lists things that I need to do.I have three categories: "Immediate, This Week and Long Term". I list things like laundry, bills, cleaning etc... under immediate. Weekly gets things like : look into new eye doctor, set up dentist appt etc.. And long term is stuff like: Fill in baby books, do a will etc... I know, I know. I'm a nerd. But I love stuff like this. I love when my life feels like it's organized.
I noticed I was becoming a bit obsessed about this list of mine. Mostly it was because more was getting added onto it then being crossed off. I kept it right in the kitchen when I spend the majority of my time so it was staring me in the face all day. Reminding me of what I wasn't crossing off of it.
This past Christmas break I slacked off on keeping my list up to date and I realized how much laid back it made me. I knew the necessities that needed to be done for the day but my brain wasn't overwhelmed by every little thing on that list. Now I keep the list in my office so that when I do have some time to cross things off the list I go into the office to see what needs to be done. That way I'm not consumed by the thoughts of what needs to get done. I get the necessities done and if I have time I can cross a few other things off the list.
I'm learning that somehow life still works out just fine even without planning every detail. One day last week I didn't plan a thing out to do that day. We had a vague idea that we were going to take the kids snow tubing but I didn't stress on the timing of it. Turns out we didn't leave till 3pm and it was a 2 hour drive and going to be 5 degrees in the mountain. Everything in me was telling me this was very poor timing and we should have left earlier etc... Turns out we had the best time ever. The hill wasn't crowded. They pretty much let us tube for free and we hit none of the ski traffic coming back at 9pm.
For those of you that have this gift/curse, I challenge you to put away the to do list for a few days and just let the day take you where it may. Make that extra stop at the playground with the kids if they ask, even if it's too close to nap times. Scrap what you were planning on making for dinner and eat out. Get a babysitter last minute and go out.
Not everything needs to be perfectly planned out in order to work out perfectly.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Resolutions
Darren and I make New Years resolutions every year. I'm not too sure if that is an ancient practice these days or not but we still do it. We keep track of them from year to year and it's a really great way of seeing how we've changed in the past few years. As a mom I feel like I never accomplish anything at the end of the day so it's nice to look back and, for the most part, be able to say "yup, I actually did accomplish that this past year".
Our goals tend to change the older we get. The first year of our marriage was more career oriented and financial goals. Then came the kids and that's when my resolutions started to change. I noticed a theme for a few years was to learn more about how to parent better, how to have more patience. It reminded me of those hard years with Rhys where I just felt like I failed every single day. Not to say I have mastered this parenting thing at all, but I feel like I've grown in this area. But not without a lot of hard work put into it. It's been the hardest thing for me to get to know someone that is so different but yet so much like me and know how to be their mother.
This past year, 2012, was quite a duesy for me. I honestly feel like I've been living in a cloud for the past 7 months since my mom's death, and for some reason these past few days I feel like I'm able to see clearer. Maybe it was the Christmas break Maybe it's the feeling of a new year with new expectations. Who knows. But it's nice to have a little bit of a break from the cloud that has been over me. While sitting down to think of my resolutions for 2013 I tried to think about characteristics of my mom that made her such a great woman. One of her favorite things to do was to read. I'm not exaggerating when I say my mother had probably read over 1000 books in her life. There was always a stack of books on her nightstand. I honestly don't know when she even had time to read while taking care of 7 kids and working. She wrote in her memoir that one of her favorite times was in the middle of the night when she would be doing a midnight feeding with a baby in one arm and a book in the other. It was her time to read and connect with us at the same time (always multitasking! )
My mother was a very wise woman and I have no doubt it was because of the time she spent reading. Most of the books she read were by Christian author's and had an impact on who she became in life. She would take what she was reading and apply it to her life. There were times a book had such a big impact on her that she'd buy a copy for us to read so she'd have someone to talk to about it. If my busy mother had the time to read as much as she did then I really have no excuse. This year I am going to read at least a book a month. I'm going to write down all of the books I read so that I can measure my success at the end of the year. I'm looking forward to filling "dead" time with books rather than my phone. I'm going to keep one in the car so I can read for a few moments while picking kids up from school. I have one in the dining room that I sit down and read a few pages at the rare moments the kids are playing nicely. It's exciting to challenge my brain to think about things that I wouldn't normally think of throughout the course of my day. To get outside of my "mom" world and push myself to think about things other than day to day life.
My challenge to you is that, if you haven't made any goals for 2013, to sit down and really think about things in your life that you want to change and then come up with a game plan to change it. Don't just say "lose some weight, stop smoking, be a nicer person etc.." Try to come up with how you'll lose that weight, how you'll stop smoking, what can you do to learn to be a nicer person. Put a plan of action in place and put it into your calendar and hold yourself accountable. Or get others to hold you accountable. Write it down somewhere so that at the end of the year you can see how you were able to attain that goal.
I truly believe God wants us to continue to grow in every area of our life on a constant basis. Staying stagnant is boring. Push yourself to attain goals that you've been wanting to do and then do it. Feel free to leave a comment as to what your resolution(s) are for this year and how you are going to attain it.
Our goals tend to change the older we get. The first year of our marriage was more career oriented and financial goals. Then came the kids and that's when my resolutions started to change. I noticed a theme for a few years was to learn more about how to parent better, how to have more patience. It reminded me of those hard years with Rhys where I just felt like I failed every single day. Not to say I have mastered this parenting thing at all, but I feel like I've grown in this area. But not without a lot of hard work put into it. It's been the hardest thing for me to get to know someone that is so different but yet so much like me and know how to be their mother.
This past year, 2012, was quite a duesy for me. I honestly feel like I've been living in a cloud for the past 7 months since my mom's death, and for some reason these past few days I feel like I'm able to see clearer. Maybe it was the Christmas break Maybe it's the feeling of a new year with new expectations. Who knows. But it's nice to have a little bit of a break from the cloud that has been over me. While sitting down to think of my resolutions for 2013 I tried to think about characteristics of my mom that made her such a great woman. One of her favorite things to do was to read. I'm not exaggerating when I say my mother had probably read over 1000 books in her life. There was always a stack of books on her nightstand. I honestly don't know when she even had time to read while taking care of 7 kids and working. She wrote in her memoir that one of her favorite times was in the middle of the night when she would be doing a midnight feeding with a baby in one arm and a book in the other. It was her time to read and connect with us at the same time (always multitasking! )
My mother was a very wise woman and I have no doubt it was because of the time she spent reading. Most of the books she read were by Christian author's and had an impact on who she became in life. She would take what she was reading and apply it to her life. There were times a book had such a big impact on her that she'd buy a copy for us to read so she'd have someone to talk to about it. If my busy mother had the time to read as much as she did then I really have no excuse. This year I am going to read at least a book a month. I'm going to write down all of the books I read so that I can measure my success at the end of the year. I'm looking forward to filling "dead" time with books rather than my phone. I'm going to keep one in the car so I can read for a few moments while picking kids up from school. I have one in the dining room that I sit down and read a few pages at the rare moments the kids are playing nicely. It's exciting to challenge my brain to think about things that I wouldn't normally think of throughout the course of my day. To get outside of my "mom" world and push myself to think about things other than day to day life.
My challenge to you is that, if you haven't made any goals for 2013, to sit down and really think about things in your life that you want to change and then come up with a game plan to change it. Don't just say "lose some weight, stop smoking, be a nicer person etc.." Try to come up with how you'll lose that weight, how you'll stop smoking, what can you do to learn to be a nicer person. Put a plan of action in place and put it into your calendar and hold yourself accountable. Or get others to hold you accountable. Write it down somewhere so that at the end of the year you can see how you were able to attain that goal.
I truly believe God wants us to continue to grow in every area of our life on a constant basis. Staying stagnant is boring. Push yourself to attain goals that you've been wanting to do and then do it. Feel free to leave a comment as to what your resolution(s) are for this year and how you are going to attain it.
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